“We all have an unexpected reserve of strength inside that emerges when life puts us to the test. Just as an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward; when life is dragging you back with difficulties just focus, aim, and believe you will be launched into something great!” - Anonymous
Perseverance is different than strength. Strength is the ability to withstand great amounts of force or pressure while perseverance is the ability to continue on despite evidence of roadblocks and challenges. Although these two terms are often interchangeably used they suggest a difference in action, skill, and ultimately success.
Let me share with you a story of the time I realized the key difference between perseverance and strength. I had just emerged from the worst year of my life a new and changed woman. I had overcome heartache, loss, and unimaginable grief; I had found purpose and perspective on the importance of hardships in life. I learned a valuable life lesson during that year of growth and it was found in the ability to access a level of resilience I didn’t know I could poses. This reserve of resilience is what allowed me to believe in myself again and actively pursue my goals.
I decided to treat myself with a vacation to my “happy place” – aka California. As I humbly stumbled home from a mid-day happy hour I noticed a set of swings strategically placed in the perfect place to watch the majestic sunset. I moseyed over and began to swing; this instantly brought me back in to my childhood – a time of carefree innocence that I often crave as an adult. As I flew through the air, moving back and forth … wind in my hair, sunset in my eyes, and feet moving freely off the ground I felt alive. Finally, I had broken free from the symbolic chains keeping at my rock bottom and was literally and figuratively flying high.
I pumped my legs long enough to catch some air when I eventually catapulted myself off the swing and onto the warmth of the sand. As I stood up, a smile painted across my face and my heart, I noticed something peculiar. It was a small shack of a beach house planted right on the sand with a “one way” street sign bolted to it exterior pointing up towards the sky. I froze for a moment taking in this beautiful site and knowing in my heart it was the universes way of saying “you’ve got this kid, there’s only one way to go from here … up.” I chuckled to myself at this thought and continued my journey down the beach.
This particular story came to mind when reflecting on times I had to access great perseverance in order to survive; for a while I viewed myself as “strong” because I was able to withstand the force and pressure of my life situation, in hindsight I realize I was able to survive due to my ability to continually persevere through the challenges thrown my way on my journey to success.
As a self-proclaimed “planner” rarely do I ever find myself without a plan … and also a plan B, C, and D. However during this time in my life my actual survival was placed solely in one plan that I had made for myself. It was the persistency of this plan where my resilience began to develop and my life began to change; it was the lack of any fall back plan that forced me to make my original plan work. For me, I still believe that having multiple ideas of how to manage a situation helps minimize my anxiety – however, focusing on only one path forced me to be creative with my approach, persist through difficult times, and achieve my desired outcome with the attitude of “this has to work because it is the only way.”
I find a fire sparks within me when I am faced with seemingly impossible challenges and I become determined to figure out a way to overcome and succeed. I have surprised myself with the grit I have been able to access during these times; yet, I find myself equally surprised when I find it difficult to persevere through smaller, less significant challenges. So what gives? How is it that I am able to emotionally move through grief and yet I can’t stop thinking about small everyday setbacks in my life? Or the inevitable plateau that always seems to show up as momentum begins to build leading to feelings of failure and insecurity.
The truth is life continues to ebb and flow, usually out of our control completely. It is this lack of control that scares many people away from risk taking and change. It is this lack of control that can slow the momentum built when moving towards goals. It is this lack of control that prevents the achievement of desired outcomes and instead replaces it with paralyzing self-doubt. The solution is found in the ability to persevere and to learn to replace motivation with self-discipline. While on your journey of life continue to exhibit patience and positivity from the self, about the self, to the self.
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