When I look at the word community my brain automatically hones in on the word unity – the experience of being a part of something, often times, greater than yourself. Community is the essence of human connection; it is the ability to look at one another and say “even though we are different we relate on a human level.”
The experience of community is achieved through showing true genuineness, exhibiting trust/compassion/understanding, and allowing yourself to authentically be “in the moment” with others. Some people believe they are in community when in reality they are just in proximity. True community requires an individual commitment to openness and trust. Communities are often formed when like-minded people have an experience together that forces them to connect on a deeper level evoking inspiration, growth, support, and a feeling of safety.
If the validity of being a part of a community feels so amazing, why do we ever deprive ourselves of such an experience by standing off to the side, disengaging, or shutting off completely to the world around us? The “easiest” answer to this question is FEAR. Being a part of a community and/or connecting with others on a profound level is an emotional and very personal experience – even the bravest, most self-confident people can find themselves filled with uncertainty or unsure of how to navigate the unknown. This fear is often rooted in trauma from our past and manifests itself as feelings of self-doubt, unworthiness, or an overwhelming sense of rejection. The negative emotions that develop from trauma are often reinforced through other themes and settings creating distrust in others. It is in this distrust that walls are built for protection against vulnerability and to avoid further hurt.
True connection requires the ability to be open, express freely, and have trust that our sense of belonging will not be taken away; the root of belonging is, and will always be, self-acceptance. Believing in yourself is the best way to express and achieve authenticity with others; understanding your own boundaries, being assertive in your self-expression, and trusting that ‘the whole is greater than the sum of its individual parts.’ Strength is found in the differences between us, comfort is found where we overlap.
Guided Meditation:
Place your body in a comfortable position (supported or unsupported by props, sitting up or laying down).
Close your eyes, and take a deep inhale through the nose. Exhale fully through the mouth.
Inhale slowly filling the whole body up, exhale release and soften.
Inhale slowly ribs expand, exhale release pause at empty (continue with the breath cycle as many times as needed to find a place of disconnection from the outside world).
As you disconnect begin to turn inward dialing down the volume of your mind. Begin to visualize and channel your inner child. Take yourself back to a time where you can remember being made to feel small, insignificant, or ignored. Notice how the feeling manifests in the physical body.
See yourself as that child beginning to build a wall shielding you from hurt, shame, and negativity. As you deeply inhale tell yourself “this wall was built from fear,” exhale the breath out imagining a few bricks falling.
As you deeply inhale tell yourself “I am stronger than my experiences,” exhale the breath out imagining a few more bricks falling.
As you deeply inhale tell yourself “I trust in myself and my abilities,” exhale the breath out imagining a few more bricks falling.
As you deeply inhale tell yourself “I am capable of trust and connection with others,” exhale the breath imagining a few more bricks falling.
As you deeply inhale tell yourself “I am worthy of love and belonging,” exhale the breath imagining a few more bricks falling.
Continue recycling these positive affirmations or create new ones more personal to yourself and your life experience. Once all your bricks have fallen, look out at the vest world you have created with new perspective, hope, and awareness. And remember: YOU MATTER.
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